Herein contained is set down an excerpt from the memoirs of one Captain Alan Sloshbeard.  Which were in fact stolen by some dirty Scottish noble brat who immediately turned it in to the authorities leaving me high and dry with a fat reward over my head, and by me I mean not me at all because I’m not Sloshbeard. My name is Randulf Slosher I swear I am in no way pantsless or have I ever been a Pirate…now where were those pants.

Hello There Journal,

It was an odd day when I found myself pa...

Herein contained is set down an excerpt from my private journals…er I mean Captain Alan Sloshbeard’s private journals.  Which I stole...er Found! Not mine Cause I’m not him, and I never was…have been…um.  Yours, The Pantsless Non-Pirate.

Hello journal,

Today I found myself in a right mess, there were wenches and goats and lots of rum.  There I was in the Rotted Plank Tavern, just off the coast of who knows where, when this dainty tavern wench caught my eye.  I being a man of the c...