Blog

Rose and Thorn Blog

This is where members of the Rose and Thorn Armory clan post some of the things that they find interesting or information that you might find interesting. About all sorts of things not just leather armor and leather goods.

Sloshbeard is in no way related to the Lady Alain Sloshing

February 13, 2013

Herein contained is set down an excerpt from the memoirs of one Captain Alan Sloshbeard.  Which were in fact stolen by some dirty Scottish noble brat who immediately turned it in to the authorities leaving me high and dry with a fat reward over my head, and by me I mean not me at all because I’m not Sloshbeard. My name is Randulf Slosher I swear I am in no way pantsless or have I ever been a Pirate…now where were those pants.

Hello There Journal,

It was an odd day when I found myself pantsless and hanging by my fingers from a balcony.  I had captured the affections of a noble lady, but I spent more time evading a jealous husband than enjoying said affections.  Stealing the lady’s clothes seemed like the only sensible way out of the situation.  It backfired however.  After introducing myself to his lordship as the lady Alain Sloshing, a close personal friend of his lady wife, I found myself evading an amorous nobleman instead.  In order to get me alone he even went so far as to invite me to the royal palace to see me.  I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to steal from the royal treasury.  I chose to show up, apparently lord what’s-his-name was close enough to the royal family, to borrow a bedroom in the palace, he cornered me in the room, so I broke a chair across his face, and scurried onto the bed. He came up crying, bleeding and professing his undying love for me so this time I leapt from the bed to drop an elbow on his head, too bad for me the bed frame broke under me and I tumbled into his open arms.  I panicked as he went in for the kiss so I tore off my wig and shouted “Wait I’m a bloke I swear. I’ve been shacking up with your wife,” shocking confessions, they work every time! Snarling he tossed me away and went for his dagger, though I did see a sad look in his eyes.  He came at me with the dagger so I picked up the first thing I could grab and beat him unconscious with it, it turned out to be a pair of fancy slippers on a wooden shoe tree.  For lack of a better plan I threw them out a window, and heard a loud splash. I, finding myself disheveled and missing my wig, had to beat a hasty escape so I squeezed out of the window and sort of dropped into a large open barrel of mead.  Sucking royal mead out of my skirts I took off soaking wet into the night.  Stolen mead always tastes best if you ask me.

With fondness and no regrets, the heaven’s honest truth, I swear.

Captain Alan Sloshbeard.

 

Sloshbeard is a right tosser

February 6, 2013

Herein contained is set down an excerpt from my private journals…er I mean Captain Alan Sloshbeard’s private journals.  Which I stole...er Found! Not mine Cause I’m not him, and I never was…have been…um.  Yours, The Pantsless Non-Pirate.

Hello journal,

Today I found myself in a right mess, there were wenches and goats and lots of rum.  There I was in the Rotted Plank Tavern, just off the coast of who knows where, when this dainty tavern wench caught my eye.  I being a man of the c...


Continue reading...
 

WANTED

January 30, 2013
Dead or Alive
 

 Captain Alan “The Pantsless Pirate” Sloshbeard. Formerly of the infamous pirate vessel Terrible Potatoe. Wanted for numerous and vile crimes against the Crown and the British Empire.  These crimes shall here be named: Piracy on the Baltic Sea, Smuggling, Dealing in black market goods, Sale of counterfeit merchandise, Attempted sale of a false mermaid, Illegal import of china dolls, Forgery, Sailing under false colors, Depravity, Desecration of a church, Public urination, Va...
Continue reading...
 

No witches here.

January 23, 2013

Yes, Yes, I am Christian I believe in Pope person. I never take part in witchcraft or eat cute little baby children. I start in small town that is in area you call Duchy of Moscovy, but I call Rus. I live by forest with Babka. She taught me all the brews and all the things to stir in pot to make medicine for all sickness. She is nice lady to me, but village think she eveil. They say she take children and put in pot; I never saw such thing, but there were often large sacks in back of shack tha...


Continue reading...
 

The One Song Bard

January 16, 2013

The Pantsless Pirate has a not so secret, secret; He likes to sing.  Usually about two mariners trapped in the belly of a whale.  In fact for the longest time that was all he would sing about, The Mariner’s Revenge.  Somewhere along the line someone dubbed him the one song bard.  This being a terribly useless sort of thing our good old Pantsless Sea Rat began musing about what you should do with a Drunken Sailor.  Way hey and up she rises.  This only made him a two song Bard so the quest co...


Continue reading...
 

Sloshbeard is not now nor has he ever been a nun.

January 9, 2013

Herein contained is set down a record of that wily fellow from the wanted posters named Captain Alan Sloshbeard, who I am not now nor in anyway have I ever been, the same as or related to in any fashion… indeed.  Yours, The Pantsless Pirate…Privateer…Merchant…right.

Hello journal,

I found myself on the run once more; that is of course assuming that those servants of the crown who gave chase were not simply phantoms of a mind besotted with strong drink.  I sought to seek sanctuary at...


Continue reading...
 

The Importance of Leather Armor Maintenance

November 23, 2012

Leather armor like any form of armor requires consistent care in order for it to last and to perform its function properly. You might ask yourself why if leather is so long lasting and durable, does it need the upkeep. Or perhaps you're wondering what you would need to do. Well I intend answer these questions.

Leather armor is intended for protection and like all other forms of protective gear it requires some maintenance to get the best results.  If neglected, armor will still serve its fun...


Continue reading...
 

Why Leather Armor Works

September 13, 2012

People often ask me why leather is a good material for armor. The thing a lot of people fail to realize is that leather armor has been used throughout most of history in conjunction with other materials or by itself.  I like to point out that we still have leather armor left over from Ancient Greece, and Rome.  Some of this armor is over 2000 years old.  So why work with leather?

One, leather is very abundant. Obviously every animal you kill produces some hide of varying thickness but just b...


Continue reading...
 

Escaping the Mundane

June 1, 2012

There is a term that circulates around the Faire crowd that I have often thought very accurately explains how I feel about the 9-5, day-to-day life; it is Mundane. The term can describe objects, activities or people. A person can have “mundane” clothes,  they could be doing the very “mundane” activity of watching TV, or the person themselves can be “mundane” especially when they come to a renaissance festival in plain clothes and sneer at any one in a costume. 

If you look up th...


Continue reading...